The Lord has been teaching me a bit about my victim mentality. I've just been reminded recently of how much pain others are in while I am totally unaware and consumed with myself. I think depression would hit a whole lot less if I could pull my attention away from how hard I think my life is, to think of others even just a little. It's such a struggle for me, though. I woke up this morning just overwhelmed. I hate waking up that way. Kids were crawling on top of me full of energy and needy, and totally unconcerned with whether I feel like dealing with it or not. I can so quickly reach a point of feeling used up and empty, before I even put breakfast on the table! It's dwelling on this that is so detrimental.
I want to quickly reassure you that I am usually tickled pink for sweet little girls to crawl all over me and need me. But there are occasions when this can be overwhelming.
It is good for me to care for others' pain. Not that I'm comforted to know that those I love are hurting, but sometimes I get near-sighted and stuck in my little world of crap and don't even consider others' crap. I think it's a really good thing for us to share our crap with each other and have compassion for each other over that crap. I need to care for your struggles and I need you to care for mine. But then, going back to something I shared on an older post, we need to remind each other and be convinced that what is more important than healing the pain and wounds inflicted on us is dealing with the subtle, stubborn commitment to ourselves. That's a tough one. Sorry I keep harping on this. I pretty much need to be reminded constantly of my selfishness.