Survival mode is so bad. I'm usually there when my thinking is all wrong. I go there when I forget the truth and start believing lies. I also go there when I'm pregnant and emotional.
I've just cried so much and at crazy times in the past few days. I am not skilled enough, I guess, at calculating the amount of struggle it will take to do a fun thing with the girls and deciding whether it's woth it to do that fun thing and then die, or just stay home and maybe not die. When I say "die" I really mean wear myself out to the point of emotional numbness. All my crying has been from silly things. That's why I love pregnancy so much.
I was having a hard time catching my breath while fixing the girls' breakfast (I think it's a low blood pressure thing). Nathan noticed this and said, "Amanda, sit down. What do you want for breakfast?" He fixed my Fiber One for me. And I cried with gratefulness.
So, I'm a little crazy and emotional these days.
Al is a good sister with plenty of struggles and reminded me to pray through these things. I asked her, "When do you do that?" She said, "while the kids eat breakfast I've got a good 10 minutes." She's awesome. So anyway, I'm praying through these things. God is good and extends such patience to me even when I'm a bawling pregnant lady who can't see past my little struggles.