On Sunday the girls were working on their hideout behind the shed.  They have thrown up leftover wood pieces across the top of the corner of the fence to fashion a roof over their heads, and then surrounded that with a ladder, and umbrellas attached with ponytail holders, and crafts inside.  It's beautiful.

In the midst of all this teamwork and fun, low and behold, there came some disagreement and fighting.  Someone was wielding plastic craft scissors which they'd been using to trim the bushes around their new home.  They began to make scary threats, "If you don't stop that I'm going to cut you!"  Or whatever terrible thing they could think of.

Kate ran to me and said, "Claire keeps making threats!  She's made, like, 5 threats!" Kate actually is a regularl threat-maker too.  I realized I had been hearing a lot of this language the past few days.  I thought, What is up with all this anger and threat-making?  It dawned on me how often we all have been struggling with reacting this way over responding with compassion, me included.  We are a household of quick, emotional reactions, sadly.

I asked the girls, "How many days do you remember in your life that, while your sister was making you SO frustrated, you stopped and tried to understand where she was coming from, and actually felt love for her even while she was being difficult?  Do you ever try to have compassion for her struggle?"  Kate wonders what compassion looks like.  I explain, "How many times do you feel like you could reach out and touch her gently and say a soft word?"

Kate was horrified.  Touch her gently and speak gently is so not our favorite reaction when someone is threatening to cut us with craft scissors.

Kate was devastated that this was so hard for her.  But I assured her, it's hard for me too (she knows it), every day, to choose compassion and a gentle word instead of anger and threat making.
This is our life; a constant battle to choose love.
But wow, Christ said they didn't even know what they were doing when they smashed thorns into is head, and He plead for their forgiveness.
He loves us with a great love, and He wants us to love with a great love too.  A love that says, "Oh Claire, I know what running out of patience feels like.  I can't get mad at you for that."
It was a great, great conversation with Kate, and I saw the tenderness of her heart.

I just read two of Kara Tippets books.  They're both very short and very good.  One is called The Hardest Peace: Expecting Grace in the midst of Life's Hard.  It's about her struggle to find peace as she is dying of cancer, and knows she won't see her children grow up into adults.  Many tears through that one.
The other is Big Love: The Practice of Loving Beyond Your Limits.  Big Love is about loving our kids/family when you think you just can't anymore.  It's just good for me to constantly be putting these truths into my brain and my heart.  And good to have those conversations with the girls.