It hurts like billy-oh, but it is such fun to see it coming away

I was reading a book on prayer while I rode my bike the other day (Don't worry. Stationary bike).  The writer was talking about mistakes that you think are mistakes, but they aren't really.  We don't realize that in that "mistake" the Kingdom had come.  That when Christ comes to us, it's often in a way that is strange, low, and seldom recognized.  It's not while I'm feeling good in my church pew.  It's while I'm feeling the presence of my sin with my kids.  I need to go on that downward journey to feel my inadequacy.  That's the gospel.  Not that Amanda does a good job all day every day and Amanda is awesome and patient and sparkly.
We tend not to pray in the context of the story He is weaving in our lives.  We say, "I prayed that He would save my brother and he hasn't yet."  Or  "I prayed that he would give me patience with the kids and make them obey more, but I just don't see any change."  And I'm tempted to pray in that way.  But He knows what I really need is not for my kids to behave and for me to be a perfect parent, but for my kids to show me my sin and for me to mess up, make mistakes, and my kids see me repent.
Paul Miller said, "it's always that way with the kingdom.  It looks like a mistake...when the story isn't going your way ask yourself, 'what is God doing?' Be on the lookout for strange gifts."

Well, if I stopped and asked myself in those crazy, terrible moments, "what is God doing?" - if I only did that once a day, I'd be awesome.  Because it seems when one female in the house has an emotional breakdown, we all must soon follow.  When that's happening Nathan starts laughing.  I guess that's better than joining in the crying.
So this is my thought process the afternoon/evening after I read that great chapter in my prayer book:
"Okay *deep breath*, so I'm elbow deep in raw chicken and Kate needs me to come wipe her poo.  People I love have cancer.  People I love don't know Christ.  My heart is heavy but I can't even think about it because Claire is screaming at Riley.  Who do I scream at first?  No, don't scream.  *breath again*.  Nathan is 15 minutes late coming home from work and I want to throw raw chicken at him when he comes through the door whistling.  No, love him.  Have compassion on the screaming girl because you know your heart is just as selfish and you taught her that.  *hold back tears*  I've scarred my children.  It's okay.  Grace is real.  The kingdom has come this afternoon.  Wash off the chicken juice.  Wipe the poo.  Apologize for screaming and hug the screaming ones.  Remind them that Christ has come to redeem all our brokenness.