I will not be fasting from blogging. Just Facebook and Instagram and all the things I compulsively check. My phone apps are boring now, so maybe I won't pick up my phone every time there is a lull in life or a spike in stress. Is picking up a book better? It's not a screen. That's a start.
It makes me grumpy when I think of giving up my relaxing things. If I had someone to fight with about it, I would argue, "What am I supposed to do?! Keep cooking the foods? Keep doing all the things?"
Every once in a while, I sit down, and when those times come, I like not staring at walls. Because really, I'm looking to block out what's surrounding me. I like escaping. I'm not saying that's a good thing. It's just what's happening.
The idea of the lenten season is to escape to Christ. What I replace these fasted things with should be leading me to Christ, and I want it to lead me to love my family.
Last night I didn't even want my phone after washing a couple of heads of hair, putting away leftover dinner, and putting away laundry. I just wanted away, period. I sat with my tea and closed my eyes, and soon someone screamed for me. And I said, "Let's start this lent thing early, no escaping. Embrace it, jump in with both feet and stay there, and stop trying to leave there. Stay with the screamers."
So, the lenten season for me is a time to really focus on not hating hard work. I don't mean the hard work of cooking and cleaning, because that's the easy part. And actually, sometimes cooking and cleaning is my escape. I'm going to stop trying to escape relational hard work.
The phone apps always took me away rather than pursuing these people. The dishes take me away too.
This morning, instead of Facebook, I listened to Lola's dream about a sock with teeth and diamond eyes (scary). I'm glad I was right there with her with my eyes and ears, and we got to talk about it.
I'm removing my escape options and telling myself to stay; to swim in all of the messiness and not try to escape. I am NOT removing coffee. I love my family too much. :)
There is something to be said of embracing rather than fighting with your situation. Lucy has a clock for a brain, and if she knows anything, she knows when it's 6am and that 6am is eating time. We used to feed her and put her back in her crate so we could sleep 20 more minutes. It was a painful fight with barking for 20 minutes that made our anger rise while we held pillows over our heads util the kids finally got up and we'd say, "Go play with Lucy!" And eventually, we'd accept that it was time to get out of bed. Then one day we decided to stop that. We just get up, and mornings are so much easier.
In other news, I went to the dentist today and have receding gums! and my dentist tells me that if I wished to spend thousands on Invisaline, he wouldn't stop me. More things to think about.
1 comment:
You don't need invisaline, silly. Why does your dentist keep telling you that? Because he wants your money. And I read yesterday that oil pulling helps with receding gum lines too! And teeth and gum health in general of course. I still have never tried it. They said just put a TBSP of coconut oil in your mouth before you jump in the shower and swish it around for 10 to 20 minutes then brush your teeth afterwards. Also an electric tooth brush is easier on gums. I plan to try both.
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